Alright, this post is pretty much for Ethan. To prepare him for his Iowa adventure.
Some things you should know about my family (nothing personal).
Mom's Side:
My Papa is the one who needs to have the best impression of you. I am his first grandkid and he often refers to me as Rhonda. Like as in he always refers to me as Rhonda, rarely gets it right on the first try. That's not because he doesn't pay attention. It's because I remind him of her with my continuous "deal making." The way to his heart is through work. Act interested in his routine life. Offer to open gates in the morning when he does chores. I still haven't figured out what you should call him yet. See around here we don't do that Mr. First Name business.
My Grama ..will probably ask you 1400 questions. Not prying questions, but weird questions you've probably never been asked. Like "does your church have pews?" or "do you nap often?" or "I bet the sun shines a lot brighter in Arkansas, you're probably sick of all these open plains?" She might be the gentle-est person I've ever met.
My Aunt Cary's family. They're cool. I've been watching the kids all summer. My uncle might be a little taunting, but you can just give him a mean face and he'll leave you alone, trust me I've been doing it since I was 3. Be nice to Darin and he'll be your buddy, he's your best bet to get in with the kids. McKenze 12. Darin 10.
My Uncle Tom's family. In quite contrast to your Uncle Tom :) They are fun, but not affectionate it in any way. Well except for Jack, but I think the only affection you'll get from him is a smack in the face. Ben might not talk to you at all, he's 7. Don't take it personally, he doesn't talk much to anyone. Paige 10. Ben 7. Jack 3.
My Aunt Tammy's family. Her husband Kyle, is a lot like you. Super friendly and outgoing. I think you'll get along well. Juicy toot is her son. He might be shy at first, but I think he'll warm up to you. He's your ticket to being friends with Jack. Gracie 9. Gabe 5. Gillian 2.
My Dad's Side.
They're a whole nother tribe.
My Grampa. Already likes you since you always send the flowers to his house. He will tell you as many stories as questions my other grama asks you. Just listen ATTENTIVELY. Which is sometimes an issue, as your mother pointed out. Most of them are funny, so if you accidentally don't hear, just laugh at the end. Or if he's laughing, then you laugh too.
My Grama. I still haven't figured her out. Bingo is her thing. As you know, you will be joining us on tuesday for a game. Just be attentive (there's that word again!). Don't speak at Bingo, unless you are yelling Bingo. My dad might try to tease you during the game, don't get distracted. It's intense! You will probably meet a lot of old ladies that night too. Tell her you fish, she'll like you. Oh one more thing, Bingo starts at 7, but she'll be in the lincoln at 3:30, honking the horn, literally.
My Aunt Monica's family. They will try and tell you embarrassing stories about me, none of them are true! Seriously, anything about squirrels, just tune that out. They have 2 kids.
My cousin Nicole's family. Christian 13. Jeremiah 9. Glorya 7. She's nice, but will probably try and tell you things about me, which are also not true.
My cousin Zanniell's family. Heaven 13. Zedekiah 9. Zariah 7. Abiah 7. If you haven't noticed, we like IAH. I call her ZB, it might bother her, not sure. See ZB used to be her initials, now they're ZZ, I just haven't made the switch yet.
My Aunt Gina. She is awesome! She might seem like she doesn't like you at first, but then whenever you're alone with her she's totally different. She let me drive her car when I was just learning, ya know like 8 yrs old. She lives to fish. She has one son.
My cousin Luke. I don't even know what to say. Avoid! He WILL try to scare you away. He will act like he doesn't like you. He will have a mountain dew in his hand at all times. He has a son, Colton 2. And a wife, she's cool.
My aunt Tina. Bryce's family! They'll ask you a lot of questions, tell you a lot of stories. Basically good conversation. Bryce 19. Ryan 16. Brooke 12.
I think that's everyone you'll meet. I love you. I love you. I love you. See you at 10:45!!!
